Thinspo???

After my work out, I'll be posting a few tips on fasting, how to shrink your stomach and what not. Also, there will be some great thinspo!

Day 2 of 7: Fasting

Another day, of having not an ounce of sleep. I am so depressed right now. Yet, I am happy. I don't really get it, but it happens. I will be so happy and up-beat about losing this disgusting weight. Then the next minute, I'm lying there on the floor, screaming and crying my eyes out. 

I force myself to throw up, even if I have only had some kind of juice. I just, I feel control, skinny, when I can make myself throw up, even when I don't want to.  I tell myself, "You have to do it, or you'll never be skinny, never have what you want and never be able to go out looking good in anything." 

Sometimes this will only last for, usually, a half hour. The longest was about maybe a day or two, and the shortest was, mmm, 20 minutes.

Usually in the moments of only being down, I'll see someone who is skinny on T.V. or on the Internet. I then tell myself, "Not to worry, I shall soon look like them, but maybe skinnier."

In the times of a day or two. Is usually when I have lost all hope, resorting to stuffing my face and sleeping all day.

It is now day 2 of my 7 day fast, even though yesterday I ate.

I told you guy's I'd put my weight things, so here ya go.

HW: 160

LW:142(I think)

CW:145(Could be lower or higher, have not weighed myself in a while.)

1GW:155(Reached)

2GW:150(Reached)

3GW:145(Reached)

4GW:140(Yet to maintain)

5GW:135

6GW:130

7GW:125

8GW:120(Trying to get here before June 6st)

9GW:115

10GW:110

UGW:105

I know, I am FAT! No need to say anything, or make comments. 

I have been struggling with this for at least, 2 years. I was 13 when I first started eating less and purging after every meal, then I started working out like crazy.

Well, i am going to work out. Last night I ran with my sister-in-law so that went well, specially since I ate. 

Oh by the way, it did not take me 2 years to get down to 145 form 160, I just never weighed myself up until I turned 15, that is when shit got real.

I entered a weight lose competition with my sister and brother, it was a biggest loser thing at my church. I was starting off by just eating right and working out every night for an hour or 2. Then I realized that I lost at least 5 lbs in the first week. I then started restricting my calories, thinking if I eat less I'll lose it faster. So I did. The next day I couldn't eat, and then I weighed myself the morning after and I had lost more weight. I figured it was from not eating. So it clicked, not eating, more weight lose. So I began not eating. I only drank water and ate those chew able vitamin c tabs, it tasted like oranges and was only 5 calories and 0.5 grams of sugar, for at least 12 days, and I went to weigh in, and I was down from 155 to 150. I was so  physicked. I ate even more less. The next weigh in was 142. My motivation got higher. I then got word that out of everyone and all the groups, I was on the 1st for losing the most weight. Talk about your self-esteem boot, yeah? But I slowly slacked.

Until just a few months ago, I picked back up again, with a new idea, fasting. No chew able vitamins this time. I learned about the ketosis and all that. So yeah, here I am now. Fasting and trying to shed at least 20 lbs by June. 

Well, 

Later...

~Lots of Love, Tori~