Tips!!! FINALLY!!! And my update, BOO MEE!!!!!!!!

Well, I fucked up. I don't give a shit though. I am way better then food to let it drain me out and hold me down, having me dwell on my mistake and stuff my face further more. So i stopped after I jammed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich down my throat. Though, a little while after I lapped up some milk after I chowed down on my cereal. Oi, but it does not end their. I had another, ANOTHER FUCKING BOWL OF APPLE JACKS. I Then got a wine glass, considering it was the only cup I felt like drinking out of and it was the smallest as well meaning less intake, and poured some 30 calorie chocolate milk (MY LIFE SAVOR!!) into it and drank at least 3 or four, maybe 5, wine glass cups of it, and remember, one whole cup is 30.  

Well, I stopped eating at around 10 something. I then, since I got my little work out thingy, (Still haven't gotten to take a picture yet.) worked out for a little bit. I had also worked out a few times when I got up and my parents were gone, and I had been fasting.

Oi! Great news, guys! Well kinda bad, but still good. If that makes any sense, Aha! I got my weight a tad higher. Like around 157 maybe. So, sense I had been on this fast-almost-a-whole-day-then-binge-at-night-and-do-some-shit-to-try-and-keep-off-the-weight faze, I decided to just weight myself yesterday. I did, right before I ate and I was 151, and i got happy because I told myself if it was lower then 152, (My last weight in) I couldn't eat and would continue to fast, but if not or even higher then I would eat a bit. I ended up binging anyway and weighted after it at 153. I was pissed and then I did really nothing, just laid on my left side a bit and wiggled and fidgeted around a lot. I then weighed in today at around 5 or something after I got up and was, surprisingly, 150. I got so stoked that I exercised on my running/walking thingy, but then i screwed that up later by eating, obviously. AHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHHA! Fuck my life -__-

Oi, well, this blog wasn't just made for me to rant about my shit -filled life. It was also meant to give those, who inspire to lose weight and achieve that stunning body we ever so want, tips and tricks on how to do so. So...HERE YA'LL GO!

Tips to curb your hunger:

1. Sucking on ice will give your mouth something to keep busy with. It will even help your body get more water, without drinking straight liquids.
2. Tea is an excellent drink to help you reach your goal. Caffeine acts a appetite suppressant, it has antioxidants, and hot liquids will help you feel more full. You can also add a wedge of lemon for a bit of zing.
3. Diet coke, I only recommend when about to binge. It helps and the fact that it is carbonated, means bubbly, makes you feel full.
4. Black coffee will also be a useful drink due to the caffeine and heat. Heat makes your tummy feel better and makes you feel fuller longer. 
5. Exercising. It always helps me and may even help you. People say it actually makes you more hunger, but not me.

Well, I can't think of anymore tips, sadly, but I swear to you guys, I will find some and do my research. Just, not yet because it is like 1, nearing 2, am and my nephew are over and sleeping on the other coach next to mine and I must watch them. I'll blog later on today, if I work out I'll try my best to do it after. Before I go to be is another time when I'll be updating. 

Cause of binge and my new fast

Wow. I haven't blogged in a while now have I? 

The Reason? I feel apart. Like completely! I just stopped eating then would binge like crazy at night. My buddy hasn't emailed me in a while and I'm scared something has happened and I cried and then binged over that. It just stressed me out so much. It has literally been a while since I have herd form her. We have become close too. So it's like not hearing from your favorite sibling! It drives me up the walls just thinking about it. 

Any way, enough of my little rant. I have some new new's!

I found what triggers a binge for me. Let me tell you how I found out.

So it was around 10 maybe 9:30 at night the other day, when I decided to fast for real. So I set my alarm for 12 O'clock to let me know my fast has started. I was going to have a snack before it started, but I decided to see what it feels like to say no to food, since it has been so long since I have been able to. So I stopped what I was doing and laid down to watch some Bridezilla while waiting for my fast to start. Soon enough my alarm went off, telling me it was time to get serious and stop fucking around. I had discovered before hand on my other fasts, that when I set alarms every four or five hours to tell me to keep going, it helps. I did that and then continued to lye around watching my  favorite shows to keep me busy. I did this until it was was at least 5. I turned my alarm off and then decided to try to sleep. I ended up staying awake, so I got on my phone and looked up some sites and blogs. I stayed awake and realized I had not had any cravings or hunger. I thought maybe it was just because I'm not even that far into the fast. I soon fell a sleep at like 9 am and woke up around maybe 5 or 6 pm. I was kinda getting a hankering for some food. I then got told to finish my home school testing. So I did that and I had still no cravings or even the want to eat. I didn't even have the want to drink water. (((The want to not drink water started before my fast. I was going to dry fast but decided not to when my fast started, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to drink any water. I didn't want it.))) It was then that it hit me. Keeping busy is like a cock-block to binges. I kept that in mind on what could be causing my binges.  I then later on got done with my testing and  had to sit around watching some T.V. with my mom. I was getting bored and food came to mind. I ending up binging like crazy, AGAIN!! That was when my mind snapped and I went on a crazed rampage. I threw my water bottle across the room, having it fly from the living room all the way into the kitchen. Water splattered every where. I started crying and cursing out my little eating habits.(NOT THAT MY MOM AND DAD HAD LEFT TO GO SOME WHERE!! I WAS HOME ALONE!)) I screamed and ran into my moms room and weighed myself. Seeing those numbers, just put me off even more. The tears came gushing out more then they were before and I did the unthinkable. Something I haven't done in a few months now. I PURGED. But, I couldn't throw it all up. I just kept gagging. I just like spit up two times. Not even really getting anything at all up. I became more furious  I started hitting myself and then finally collapsed to the floor in defeat. The binge has won. I just gave in and continued to eat. Thinking I was done with Ana and her ways of having me get so worked up over eating just a bit of a baby carrot. I was pissed off at her! For doing this. For me thinking that I had control when all a long she controlled me. I had gotten over that little fit after an hour and come to my senses and welcomed Ana back. Something was telling me to go through my day to find out what lead to my binge. I came across the whole testing and being busy. I kept going until I remembered doing nothing that I HAD to do! If I have nothing to do I binge. But having something important to do, knowing I have to do it, I keep busy with it and do NOT binge nor drink water. So there it is. Doing stuff that is important, rather in to me or just something I have to do , like school testing, I get done. If it is something minor like reading a book or making myself do something just random, I tend to binge out of boredom of what i'm doing. I have a mind that makes me do things and if I don't it bugs me. It was bugging me last night while trying to go to sleep, and I realized it was because I kept thinking about how I still had like 3 tests to do. And since they weren't done it just kinda itched me a bit. So I think I'll destroy my room and make a mess of things, because I'm kind of a neat freak and have to have things perfect. Or else it bugs me to death. 

Well, I have now decided to restart my fast. It is now 4:18 am and I am going fine so far. Because to me blogging is important and I'm to tired to eat anyway. Ahaha!!!! Well. I was wondering, if anyone even reads this stuff, if you know any good sites with fasting tips or keeping busy, like important things to do or something. Or just maybe some tips and trick on eating little to nothings even when not fasting, for when my fats is over. It would help. I'll give your blog a shout out if you have one and give me a site to go on, even if it's your own. Please, it would help. Like I said, IF ANYONE EVEN READS THIS BULLSHIT!!! SAD SUCK ASS THING I CALL A LIFE!!!!!! Sorry, any way....

Later...

~Lotes of Love, Tori~