HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!

I cannot believe this!! I just weighed myself. Mind I have my suspenders on, hanging low, a shirt, bra, pants, you know, all that stuff. Also I'm on my period, so that kind of screws with my weight as well, not to mention a ate. So, I weighed 158 pounds of UGHLY FUCKING NASTY FAT!!!

 

I have stopped eating a little bit ago and, since I am on my period, it is soooo hard to say no to chocolate, when offered it. But I do and I am just drinking a lot of water. If anyone wants to water fast with me. I'll be doing 5-7, maybe 10 days. So who ever is up for the task. Please, I really need this!

New plan!

Alright, I got the perfect diet plan guys!

• Day 1: Water fast. (Can have only 10 calories worth of fruit or veggies)
• Day 2: Water fast. (Can have up to 5 calories worth of fruit or veggies)
• Day 3: Water fast. (No fruits or veggies)
• Day 4: Dry fast.
• Day 5: Water fast. (No fruit or veggies)
• Day 6: Water fast. (No fruit or veggies)
• Day 7:Water fast. (No fruit or veggies)
• Day 8: Dry fast. (No fruit or veggies) 

After this I'll see what my weight is and Hopefully it will be down to at least 140. I'll then start to eat for only 3 days, only having like 60 to maybe 90 calories a day, and I'll work out too. After these 8 days I'll post my next plan. But i'll be posting in the morning and at night. Maybe if I need some distraction i'll post some thinspo er something. I know I say I'll post and don't always, so this time I'll set alarms telling me to. 

Later Love's....

Fasting buddy and a failure!

Alright you guys. I fucked up my fasting. I know, I am a failure. You're probably reading this shaking your head. I do not know what to do anymore. I want to give up on EVERYTHING. Call it quits for real. No more tears, pain, hatred or sorrow. I want to drive a knife through my heart. I want to sew my mouth shot till I can count my ribs. I want to lock myself in my room till I can stand up and see my hip bones sticking out. I want to starve till the point where I am so weak I can't walk. My breath coming shaky and my heart beat slow. I want to be able to grab my collar bones. I want to be able to grasp my hip bones. I want angel wings. I want that bone sticking out on my shoulder. I want it all. I just, can't seem to reach it. So many other people have seemed to touch it and hold onto it, but I can't. Because I am a failure! I hate this. I try to tell myself to just quite with Ana. Leave her alone and don't let her come back, but every time that spoon or fork makes it's way to my mouth, I shudder and feel disgusting. Having that voice scream at me, trying to force me to put the silver wear down. I want to purge everyone ounce of food in me. 

I am going to six flags with my sister Mary and her boyfriend Andrew. I want to be skinnier for this. I want to bring a friend with as well. I want this. I WILL HAVE THIS!! I will try my hardest to fast this week. I WILL! I just need some support. If anyone out there knows what i am going through and is willing to fast with me for at least 3-5 days. Please leave me a comment of your email. Or if you don't want to give out your email just comment and ill give you mine as a reply. 

I would also like if someone could give me new diet ideas. I take diet pills, but only when I eat. I was wondering if anyone knows a good diet that could make you lose weight between 3-5 days. PLEASE I AM DESPERATE!!!

New idea!

Alright, so I have an idea. I might be selling my dog, Irish, but I really do not want to. She is like my baby and all, so yeah. Here is my idea. If I can make it back down to at least 145 but a certain date, I'll keep my puppy. If I do not then I must sell her. Then if I do not make it, I'll have sold her and will obviously want to buy a ferret. Maybe two, in case one is lonely. But, I cannot buy one until I make it to 139. I know this will work, because I love Irish to death, so I'll do anything to keep her, and if I don't, well i love ferrets sooo entirely much, they are my favorite,  that I'll probably be able to fast really well, because I'll just keep watching ferret youtube videos er something. Wish me luck! Oh, maybe if I make it to 145 in time, then I make it to 139, even though I'll still have Irish, I can take some money and buy myself a Turtle! My dad did say I can get one, even though we have Irish. So, yeah, after this goal thing, i'll do that. 

Alright, well I have to go, I'm watching Pewdiepie. BEST, MOST FUNNIEST, YOUTUBER EVER!! 

Later....I'll update after my fast is finished. I still have some more hours to go. I'll also be doing some more tips later, and probably some thinspo. I might even put up a picture of my little Irish!